SILLY or FUNNY or NEITHER!
He lived in the flat-tu-lance
When Brian got back to his home
His wife made him an onion tart.
But after he enjoyed a big slice
He couldn’t stop wanting to fart.
Brian enjoyed the theatre
He spent time rehearsing his part.
But the fear of going on stage
Meant he had to hide a big fart.
Brian liked mechanical things
He most enjoyed riding his cart.
But a wooden seat and a bumpy road
Shook out of him a large fart.
At the local pub in the evening
He would always pick up a dart
Aim it carefully at the board
But would miss due to a fart.
When Brian joked he grinned
And would often then break-wind.
But rather like his old car
He would more often backfire.
WALKING WITH THE WALKING GROUP
(After my first long walk in a long time with the new local Walking Group some of whom had the same name)
I went on a long country walk today
With a Tony in front and a Tony behind.
I followed them both to know the right way
With a Tony in front and Tony behind.
We stumbled all over grass, mud and clay
With a Tony in front and a Tony behind.
And my tired old hip tried to make me pay
With a Tony in front and a Tony behind.
We stopped for lunch on the side of the quay
With a Tony in front and a Tony behind.
But walked a lot further till we stopped for tea
With a Tony in front and a Tony behind.
It all went on a long time, this roam
With a Tony in front and a Tony behind.
I want a hot bath when I get home
With a Tony in front and a Tony behind – NOT!
Jacb Oct 2020